all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
