you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
