I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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