There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
