Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
why is half of my head shaved?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
