I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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