Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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