So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
