her vagina looked like bernie madoff
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
