Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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