i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How does one acquire holy water?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize