What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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