youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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