remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
