Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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