We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
