wakey wakey hands off snakey
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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