god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
