woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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