the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
