Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
