You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
