He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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