I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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