Grow some girl-balls and come out already
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
