Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize