yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
