You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
