i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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