i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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