You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My life is pants optional.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
