I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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