Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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