Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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