Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
