I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
