Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
