He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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