But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Randomize
