How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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