I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
