Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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