I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
