I smell stomach acid.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
