I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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