Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
