oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize