Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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