it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
