this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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