I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
