I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
