I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
