Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize