love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
