No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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