Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
