Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize